Category Archives: Healthy Relationships

Mindfulness Check-up | Want more meaningful and lasting Relationships? Well, It all starts with YOU!

Mindfulness Check-up

If Creating, having, and maintaining meaningful, and lasting relationships is something you desire, it is important to take a look at yourself first to see how you’re setting yourself up to experience them. This Mindfulness Check-up brings daily life occurrences to the spotlight.

I have created this to promote personal development and healthy relationships through mindfulness. These 7 key points have been chosen based on a combination of subjects frequented with clients as well as my personal interactions. This may help you to gain insight on yourself, different perspectives, create more mindfulness, and self-awareness, with the possibility of more.

Have an open mind, take it in, and see what comes from it 🙂


1. Always growing/learning

You are always growing and learning, whether it’s emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually. It’s perfectly normal, so don’t fight it, and also don’t force it, when it comes along, EMBRACE it 🙂


2. Mistakes and Failures are normal and an important part of growing/learning

How often do you want to say or do something but end up doing nothing? How often is that because you are afraid of making a mistake? Or not doing something “right”? Maybe thinking that it might not work the way you want? Mistakes are too often seen as negative by today’s society, causing many of us to do nothing out of fear of what other people will think or say about us (sometimes our biggest fear is what we will say about OURSELF). How does that help you?

In the big picture, making mistakes can be one of the most powerful tools in your life! How can you be great at something or improve something if you never do it or try it? Embrace it, look forward to it, know that it will help you grow as a person, and most importantly LEARN from it. If you can look for the opportunity to learn from each mistake and failure, you are setting yourself up for more “UP’s” in life.

Example: How can you expect to be good at hitting a baseball if you never practice hitting a baseball? You might struggle to hit the ball at first, but over time you will learn and improve based on your struggles and success. If you have this mentality, every mistake can be turned into a positive and propel you forward in many aspects of your life.


3. Challenges = Opportunities

Challenges and problems can seem very discouraging, draining and stressful, but they don’t have to be. What would it feel like to view them as Opportunities instead? They can turn from negative, draining energy, into positive and constructive energy, which will help you to spend less time feeling “down” and shift towards an “UP” to better yourself and your life.

Examples: You walk out to your car in the morning and it has a flat tire.

Examples of possible Opportunities:

– You learn that you should not ignore your cars tire pressure indicator that has been flashing on your dashboard for a week, Doh!

– You finally get to use your auto club membership for the first time in 5 years

-You get some overdue “me time” while waiting for a replacement tire

-You finally get an opportunity to test your tire changing speed against those Nascar pit crews!

You deserve the opportunities, so try it next time a challenge/problem comes up. See what opportunities you can find and decide what serves you better.


4. Self-Love

Hey!! You are good enough! You deserve! You are important! You matter!

If you don’t take good care of yourself, how do you think that affects energy, motivation, mood, and your ability to take care of someone else like your Wife? Husband? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Family member? Children? Pets? Take care of yourself and set yourself up for success!

Not sure if you give yourself enough love? Try regularly asking yourself “How does this serve me?” when making decisions. This will help you identify how much time and energy you give to your own self-care and self-consideration as well as how much you are giving out for others. Often times you may notice it’s a “win, win” and something that serves you, also serves someone like your partner.

If you don’t take care of yourself that will directly affect your life experiences. This includes affecting your ability to have healthy, meaningful, and lasting relationships, friendships, and work life, etc. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself. Enjoy life and have more fulfilling relationships and experiences in all aspects of it.

Make sure you are fulfilling your essential needs (i.e. social interactions, affection, family time, synergy, personal space, exercise, creativity, etc.). Everyone is different, if you have no idea what yours are, don’t be afraid to explore them. Some will change as your life changes, so don’t worry about getting them all set in stone, they will come up naturally if they are not being met. Being self-aware will greatly help you to see them.

Example: Personal space is important to you, but you haven’t had that need fulfilled lately and it is affecting your mood at work and with friends. Sunday comes around and your friend wants you to come over for a barbecue. You decide to stay home to decompress after a long work week and do something for yourself like read a book, exercise, watch a sports game, take a bath, get a massage, etc.

You now feel that essential need met, feel more fulfilled and in a better mood for the upcoming week. Maybe you decide that next weekend you will spend time with your friends now that your personal space “tank” has been replenished 🙂


5. Balance

 I’m sure you have heard sayings about too much of anything being bad…I also believe that to be true in most cases.

Balance is very important in your life. Examples are spending too much time with someone, which might cut off your personal space needs, or working too much and not dedicating any time for enjoyment, causing you to become irritable all the time.

Take a step back once in a while to see how balanced your life is. If you can become more mindful of yourself (thoughts, emotions, physical signs, etc.), you will pick up clues when things start getting too unbalanced.


6. Present Minded

When was the last time you were present and in the moment??? You might be thinking what does that even mean??? Well I’m about to fill you in 🙂

Past = Thinking of things that happened in the past, either to you, someone you know, in history, or something you read, etc.

Present = Focused thoughts stimulated by your 5 senses of what you Smell, See, Feel, Hear, and Taste. This is what is going on right now.

Future= Thinking ahead, what is going to happen, what would this look like, how are they going to react.

This is also related to balance. Too much time spent thinking in the Past, Present, or Future can hinder you. All 3 are relevant and equally important. But people can often get stuck in 1 or 2 of them most of the time, which will make it hard for them to move forward and live a fulfilling life.

Through my personal and professional experiences I have found that most are living in the Future and/or in the Past, especially with modern technology. People often think or living in the Future, and reference the Past to create those thoughts. This often creates unfulfilled feelings due to missing the Present life going on around us. From this, we miss out on essential connections, feelings, and experiences.

Be mindful; know that you can decide what and how you experience life.


7. Gratitude Journal

What was the last thing you were grateful for? When was it?

I ask because I really would like to know, but also because we often overlook the good, and focus on the bad things. Focusing on the bad can be a very draining habit, but luckily it doesn’t have to be.

Many of my clients have found that creating a daily or weekly journal with things that they are grateful for have helped them to appreciate more of what they have in life, instead of mainly focusing on what they don’t have. Now, this doesn’t mean to do be complacent or to settle with everything. You can still improve your life and reach for the stars as you see fit. Just be mindful about what your focus is on, and don’t forget about acknowledging of all the great things in every day life that can make life a lot more enjoyable 🙂


 

This Mindfulness Check-up might seem like a lot to take in. It’s all right to let it set in and marinate for a while. Some things will come up and happen with little to no effort, it will just be part of your awareness.

Some days you may notice more of a change in yourself than other days. Everyone is different with his or her own path and own speed at which they travel. Just know that you will put your best foot forward and be the best version of yourself everyday. If you believe that, then you will, and that will be good enough. Nobody can ask for more than that, and if they do, you will know it is not possible to be a better version than the best version of yourself. Right? 🙂

Thank you for checking out my Mindfulness Check-up!

If you want to dig deeper and explore more about yourself to experience healthy, meaningful and lasting relationships? Email me Here OR Book a complimentary 45 minute exploration session with me Here

matt williams, life coach, energy blocks

Energy Blocks: Unblock Yourself!

Do you feel stuck or like things keep getting in your way and holding you back?

Guess what?

You can change that! ☺

Energy Blocks can impact your life on many different levels if you allow them to.

You Create Your Reality

Believe it or not, you have more control than you think on how you experience life and there’s a little trick that makes all the difference!  That trick lies within YOU!!  By shifting your energy and focus to what YOU can control and spending less time on the things you can’t control you’ll start to see life in a new light.

What are things YOU can control?  Your Thoughts, Feelings and Actions!

Here are some basic examples to explain what i mean:

  • By focusing on what you “don’t have” or “don’t want” you continue living in that reality (e.g., I don’t have enough money; I’ll never find the right partner).
  • By switching the focus to what you “do have” or “do want” you create the space for that to grow and become reality (e.g., There’s plenty of money to go around; my soulmate is on their way).

Energy blocks are draining and keep you from moving forward in many different areas of your life.  Becoming aware of these energy blocks will help you to identify them when they show up help enable you to make a conscious decision to move forward.

If you want to help shift your energy and focus towards what you want, take a look at the Energy Blocks below and see how they relate to your life currently.


Energy Blocks

Limiting Beliefs:
Something that you accept about life, yourself, your world, or the people it that limits you in some way. Often related to what we’ve experienced and also what we were taught by family, friends, teachers and media growing up.

Interpretations:
An opinion or judgment you create about an event, situation, person or experience and believe it to be true.  There’s a difference between what you believe to be true and what the truth actually is.

Assumptions:
An expectation that because something has happened in the past, it will most likely happen again.

Gremlins:
Your inner critic tells you, in some way, you’re not good enough.


Lets get past those Energy Blocks and let your energy flow!!! ☺

If you would like to dive deeper into Energy Blocks and learn more, Contact me for a Complimentary Exploration Session at matt@mattwilliamscoaching.com or 626-260-0367

This post contains information and my interpretations based on the copyrighted work of Bruce D Schneider and the Institute for Professional Excellence in coaching (iPEC)

Matt Williams
Relationship and Life Coach Continue reading